Rebound from Rejection
I love the movie Maid in Manhattan! It’s one of those movies that 14 years later, still holds up. Why? Because it deals with a subject close to everyone’s heart… the fear of being rejected. Jennifer Lopez plays Marisa Ventura who in a case of mistaken identity meets Chris Marshall (Ralph Fiennes), a candidate for senate and they fall for each other. What he doesn’t know is that Marisa is a hotel maid, living out the fantasy of being a socialite. Because of her fear of rejection, she didn’t tell him otherwise.
I see this so much in the industry. What I mean is, people putting other people on a pedestal and being afraid to connect with them or “bother” them. Bottom line, it’s a fear of rejection. The only difference between you and the people who are farther along in their careers than you, are the opportunities they’ve had. They are just people.
Here are some tips to pushing through the fear of rejection and then how to rebound if it should happen:
1. Use social media. Send 5 friend requests a day. If they don’t accept, don’t take it as a rejection because you are just making that up. Instead, make up something better that makes you feel good, like, “Facebook and it crazy algorithms are not allowing my friend requests to be seen.” Or “He is so busy, he probably doesn’t have time to catch up on all of his friend requests.”
2. Talk to strangers. Do this at the gym, grocery store, Home Depot, anywhere (except the restroom… that could get weird). If a stranger rejects you, who cares? But most people engage in friendly conversation. This practice will get you prepared for networking events when the stakes “seem” (they’re not) higher.
3. Call people you’ve been out of touch with for a while. What does rejection look like there? No call back if you’ve left a message. It doesn’t matter.. you weren’t in touch with them anyway, but you made the effort so good on you!!!
4. Call people who the thought of calling makes your stomach flip. If they reject you… they’re not “your people” so you’ll find other people who are “your people.” But if they don’t reject you, that’s when your network and career start changing and growing and expanding. THAT is exciting!
Rejection happens, but as you can see, it’s a bigger deal in your mind than it is in your life. Take the risk, push through fear of rejection and you will soar!
1. Do at least 2 of the 4 suggestions.
2. If someone rejects you and you feel terrible, email me, and I’ll change your state.
What Marisa finds out when the truth comes out, is that Chris fell in love with her not with what she does. Her fear of rejection was lack of confidence and faith in the man she fell for. But as in all good romantic comedies, they lived happily ever after.